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This Semester.
Lets discuss this semester shall we? It seems about a perfect time.
Worst/Best semester ever. Now you may say how is this possible. Easy. I will tell you. Lets start with the bad stuff first and I will write about the good stuff tomorrow. I’m feeling lazy. First, I started off with breaking up with someone who I thought I didn’t need in my life. My “academic” life and dream was spiraling out of control, my personal life was a mess. We won’t even talk about my finances.
I was graced with a new academic advisor this semester. Which at the time I thought was awesome. I had a semi apathetic one last year, so a change of pace was nice for me. I went to talk to my advisor, and to start discussing Graduate school options/thoughts/possibilities. I walk in, introduce myself, and immediately, I can tell this guy is either having a bad day, or is just a complete asshole. He pulls up my transcript. He looks over it, LAUGHS, and says. “You fucked up any chance of going to graduate school the first semester you were here.” That’s where my world started spinning out of control.
I sat there for a moment trying to make any word come out of my mouth. I remember a tear running down my cheek. I bit my bottom lip, and said “okay, so do I have any choices for after undergrad?” His answer was “Pray that God graces you with a job, because with a blot like that on your record, you are in bad shape.” I got up, and walked out. As soon as I cleared his door, I took off, ran to the bathroom and blew chunks for the better part of 15 minutes. My first semester at state I finished with a 2.7 GPA. Not amazing, but I certainly didn’t fail any classes or anything like that. But according to him, the damage had been done. None of my previous advisors saw it as a big deal, I now post a 3.2 GPA, with a 3.8 in my major. Again, not Law School material perhaps, but I was hoping for graduate school. Come to find out in october this guy had told many of his students this in order to be taken off advising. Instead he was fired, and I was assigned the head of the department for advising. But the damage had been done, this guy ripped a huge hole in my confidence.
After meeting with the guy I now refer to only as “dick” I was tore up. Cried alot, thought alot, drank alot. Plans that I have had since I was in high school were finished. I started blowing tests. I was depressed. Lived in my room. Slept all the time. Broke up with my best friend. Thought it was a good decision for both of us, I think the jury still remains out on that. My world had fallen apart, and I didn’t want hers coming down with mine. She was going places, and I wasn’t anymore.
I had completely flipped my life upside down in about a week. It was like a 10 car pile up.
I honestly felt no more alone than I did the second week of September. I told no one. I kept to myself. Did my routine, and went to bed. I was ashamed, I was embarrassed. My world was falling apart.
Good News tomorrow.
